What Horrible Things You Have Been Taught That Stop Success

 

This is a guest post by Jason Fonceca from ryzeonline.com. To guest post on this blog, check guest post page.

You’ve been taught some things in your life — maybe directly, maybe not — and they’re horrible.

And if they’re left to reign terror in your life, they can easily turn your life horrible too.

Dramatic enough for ya?

Alright, so they’re not horrible, but they are important. They’re things that peers, authorities, and society has hammered into us, and that we absorbed eagerly, thinking it was in our best interest. I’m going to tell you exactly what these things are, but first, I want you to imagine a life free of these things you were taught.

There are a group of people who’ve taken some bold steps, and learned things for themselves, and realized certain things we were taught stop success. These people live lives that many people want.

Imagine waking up every day on a schedule that you set. Imagine having no problem getting paid very, very well for doing what you love. Imagine being popular, well-liked, and praised and recognized for your works. Imagine having tons of ideas, spreading across multiple industries, and creating what you want, when you want.

Imagine living in the realm of the 1-percenters. Imagine creative and financial freedom. Imagine whatever success means to you.

It doesn’t have to be so pure and strong and socially respected, and I’m not saying this article’s going to instantly teleport you there, but I am going to help you smooth out the journey for yourself.

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you could move along with your creative ideas, without getting derailed by weird beliefs you never meant to have anyway?

Most people have secret success stoppers that they never talk about or think about, and no one else talks about them either. Well… I do.

Know Your Secret Success-Stoppers

Yep, most people have secret success-stoppers that they learned early and learned well, but which are holding them back, big time. See if any of these click with you:

Change Is Hard

This one is killer :)

Let’s take a look at some things society repeats over and over, and you may have absorbed like a sponge and agreed with.

  • “Don’t rock the boat.”
  • “It takes 30 days to change a habit.”
  • “You’ve gotta resist temptation.”

Sound familiar?

Well, it’s all bull****. There are times to rock the boat, like when you’re fed up with settling and compromising your dreams, and you need to speak up and express yourself. This is how change happens, someone decides that they’d rather move towards their dreams instead of keep the boat steady for the status quo. Make a change, life is change.

It only takes a split second to change a habit, and that second is when you make a badass, truly committed decision, backed up by some action. You might stumble a bit on your path, but that habit is as good as changed, because you’re passionately focused on changing it. Maybe you’ll research habit-changes. Maybe you’ll read Switch by the Heath brothers. Maybe you’ll go to AA. Maybe you’ll do it cold turkey on your own. Whatever the case, it all came from the passionate, burn-bridges decision to change. Make a change.

Resist temptation? Hah. How bad is it really?

People aren’t lazy or resistant to change, often it’s just someone told them that the ‘change’ they’re interested in is ‘a temptation’ that is ‘BAD’. They simply get worn out resisting what they’re heart is calling them too.

If you think about it honestly and consciously, what ‘bad’ things will REALLY happen if you go with your gut? You know if you’re tempted out of some lame need to fill an emptiness or escape life, or if it’s a call from your gut to be who you really are. Try it, make a change.

Change Is Hard is something society teaches. Anything that deviates from the norm is generally met with extreme pressure. Well, you’re worthy, you’re valuable, and you deserve change in your life.

Truth: Whatever the pressure is, consciously and deliberately making a change brings success.

Success Stoppers - Change

Decisions Need No Attention

This one’s killer too ;)

Decisions are not made by default, and like any skill, they require attention and practice, at least in the beginning.

You might as well face it, chances are you suck at decisions.

Well, you don’t suck, but you’re probably nowhere near as good as you think you are at making them.

“But, I’ve been making decisions my whole life!” you say.

“And if they’re working so well for you, why are you still reading this article about success?” I reply “Not only that, but doing something poorly for 20 years doesn’t mean you’re good at it, it usually just means you’ll have to break your poor habits to make progress.”

If you really are great at decisions, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article.

Decision-making is a world-shaking skill. Good decision-makers are rise-to-the-top, one-percenters. They know how to commit and persist. They know how to make their decisions count and stick.

Not only are you not as good as you think, but you also probably don’t practice, learn, or attempt to get better at decision-making – and it shows – you can see the results in your life.

Can you make the ‘hard decisions?’ Can you take a stand for what you want in your life, and then calmly express that to your spouse, even if you feel it may result in separation? Can you decide you want a career change, and then actually stick with that decision, back it up, and tell your current job it’s time for you to move on?

It’s okay if you can’t yet – decisions take practice, and the big ones are something to work up to.

You may want to be awesome at decisions, but you can never improve in this area until you realize where you currently stand, and what next steps you’ll need to pursue. Maybe that means admitting you’re about as talented at making decisions as you are at climbing Mount Everest — and you’ve put nearly zero attention on mastering either.

Any mountain can be climbed, starting from the bottom, and taking one proper, practiced, step at a time, and as we saw above, Change Is Easy.

I`d like to go over things you may have been taught about this, but almost all of it is silent teachings. You have examples all around you of friends, family, teachers, governments, etc. who are generally terrible at making decisions.

  • They can`t decide which spouse they want.
  • They can`t decide what job they want.
  • They can`t even decide what to do on Friday night.

These are the people most of us learn from.

There are courses for math, reading, gym, etc. but one of the most important skills in the world is taught neither by parents, school, or society. That of making committed, backed-up-with-action-decisions.

Tony Robbins + Napoleon Hill both have fantastic teachings on successful decision-making, and I have a mini-course that touches on it offered at RyzeOnline.com.

“I’m A Master Decision-Maker” is a belief that I want you to have, but I want you to come to it honestly, by admitting where you are, making peace with that, and then improving yourself by taking steps until you really believe it.

Successful people are excellent decision-makers. They don`t agonize and live in worry whether the results are good or bad, they simply make peace with their decision, decide, and then back-it-up with action.

Success Stoppers - Decision-Making
Truth: Acknowledge your own decision-making skills, and start practicing and learning how to get good. Master it and rock your life.

Receiving Is Hard

Yep, you guessed it… killer. :)

Did you parents, teachers, and friends teach you that you’re valuable, creative, unique and worthy. That you deserve fulfilling experiences, money, rewards, gifts, respect, etc?

Or did they teach you that “a good person doesn’t accept things in return”? Did they teach you that “rich people are snobs or wasters of money?” Did they teach you that funds are limited and the “rich take advantage of the poor,” leeching all their dollars?

Were exchanges and gift giving in your family normal, common, and understood, or was there an air of mystery and scarcity to it (ONLY on Christmas!).

When someone offers to pay for your meal, do you find yourself making a big deal of it, saying “no, no, I couldn’t” as if that person separating from any of the dollars on YOUR account is unbearable?

Did you learn to criticize anyone who seemed to be “just doing it for the money?”

All this adds up to a very simple idea that people absorb directly + indirectly:

Receiving Is Hard, and there are many rules and complications. This means you’ll never really have a smooth flow of good things into your life. A belief that receiving’s hard and complicated is killer.

Truth: Receiving is a normal, easy, simple, healthy part of the economy and of life. I love receiving, especially in regards to my creativity.

Success Stoppers - Receiving

The Wrap-Up

So you’ve learned three deep, dark, secret success-stoppers that hold nearly everyone back, now it’s up to you what you do with that info.

A ‘pro move’ is to DECIDE to CHANGE and RECEIVE some feedback.

To do that, you just have to comment below and engage the community. Start some conversation on this blog on these often overlooked subjects. Get yourself to take ACTION on them.

Decide to contribute, and receive some feedback: comment.

Or you can do what 99% of the population does and skim this article, read it and move on…

…then you’re training your body and mind not to value success and growth, and not to contribute, act, or take steps towards your own success.

Step up ;)

About the Author: Jason helps you successfully bridge the gap from where you are to where you want to be, using his clarity & insight to help you rise in all areas. He speaks, writes, and offers sexy success-coaching at http://RyzeOnline.com. He’s been featured on Firepole Marketing, Building Digital Empires, and PuttyLike. Follow him at @jasonfonceca.

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11 Comments

  1. Naveen Kulkarni

    Jason,

    Welcome to planetnaveen.com and you have done a fine job with this fresh and thoughtful post.

    Keep it up :-)

  2. A nice write-up Jason. I myself believe in the spirit of questioning and self inquiry. You have raised some poignant questions here and all of us can benefit from facing such questions from time to time.
    Your writing style is also engaging.
    I did find the article a bit long. Could probably have been split in two. Nice, interesting and useful article never the less. :)
    Rahul Singh recently posted..End of full time Blogging for meMy Profile

  3. Awesome article! I really liked the writing style.

    There are SO many things we have been taught over the years that are complete BS.

    Thanks for helping to penetrate into the truth of the matter here. :-)
    Fred Tracy recently posted..Live Small and Avoid Having a MortgageMy Profile

  4. “A ‘pro move’ is to DECIDE to CHANGE and RECEIVE some feedback.” Rightly said, and it’s only our ability to adapt through change and feedback that will differentiate us from the rest.
    Sriram Reddy recently posted..What About Google -1? – Part 2My Profile

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