Posts from — August 2011

This is a guest post by Rahul Singh from rahulspeaks.com. To guest post on this blog, check guest post page.

How many times have you allowed fears to hold you back from what you wanted to do? And how many times did you look back later and found your fears were totally baseless.

When I was young, I could not express my feelings to so many girls I liked, just because I feared rejection. Finally, I did take that risk because I realized I was missing out more by avoiding the situation than I would if a girl rejected me. They did reject me, lots of them, but those rejections had important lessons for me. I grew more confident and came to respect myself. A time came when I found a nice girl and she liked me too. I am married to that girl now. This would not have happened if I had stayed comfortable with my fear.

We create so many imaginary demons in our heads. While we give in to the immediate comfort of holding ourselves back, a feeling of guilt gradually builds inside. We are ashamed to face ourselves in the mirror. In the long run, this approach leaves us worse off than taking on the challenge.

What keeps us from doing the obviously right thing?

What is it that holds us back from doing what we should? Here are a few pointers to consider.

1. Over analyzing

Most who fail, allow themselves to fall into paralysis of analysis. They keep accessing their decision and can take no action. They may, after a long time of decision making, decide on something to do. But just before they are about to begin, they are not so sure because their ‘recent analysis’ points to something else.

We can not be perfect. Trying to be totally right will paralyze you. You have to take the leap sometimes. You have to believe that even if you fail, you will learn valuable lessons that will help you the next time you try.

Fix a time for analysis and thinking. Once you have made a decision, once you are past the thinking time, keep your analytical mind aside and then just do what you have decided to do. There is thinking and then there is action. Alone, neither can help you, in fact, they may harm you.

2. Fear of ridicule

Are you afraid people will laugh at you? Stop taking yourself too seriously. When people laugh at you, laugh with them. You can only be ridiculed if you allow it. If you decide to laugh instead, you join the crowd and laugh at the situation, you become one with the crowd. This way, you will win more friends and respect.
Laughing at your self is very powerful. You loose a lot of fear, gain a lot of self respect and feel good. Do it often, laughing is good for health too!

3. Fear of defeat

Are you afraid of facing defeat(like I was afraid of rejection by girls)? We want all the success but none of the failures. This is self contradicting. There is no success without failure. In fact you understand success only when you have experienced failure. Failures are just learning experiences that help you on your path to success. Failure is not an event when you stop. It is an event when you take a lesson to try better next time. Don’t believe me? Read the life story of any great person of your choice.
Learn to love failures and you will find successes raining down on you!

4. Fear of standing out

Are you uncomfortable with becoming too conspicuous? Standing on the sidelines, merging with the crowd always makes you feel safe. You don’t do anything so you can’t go wrong!… This is short sightedness at its best.
We are all unique in some way or the other. There is something very unique that you, and only you can add to this world. For that, you will have to stand out. Either you stand out and claim your true nature, or you live a life of frustration and listlessness.
Remember that when a person tries to ride a horse, he risks a fall. People who stand below will laugh at him when he falls. He may fall many times before he learns how to ride well. But the ones who stand below will never become riders themselves. Decide in what company you want to see yourself.

5. Fear of discomfort

Feeling cozy in your comfort zone? Satisfied with living in the glory of your past achievements? So many get comfortable doing the same things they have done for ages. They believe they have learned enough and done enough, and can comfortably live with what they know. The idea of getting out of their shell makes them uncomfortable.
Creating such a secure shell around yourself is creating limitations for yourself. You limit your infinite potential to your shell. There is no growth in this comfort zone, there is no excitement, there is no happiness. Over time, you grow bored and listless. Break out! To live a life of happiness is to live a life of adventure. It is to embrace the unknown, to venture out, to learn and grow. Don’t stop living while you are still alive.

There is no status quo in life. Either you are learning an moving forward, or you are rusting and loosing your edge.

There is the physiological fear that all animals and humans have. This fear keeps us away from danger and helps preserve our life. This is useful. Then there is the psychological fear unique to humans. We think of how we might be ridiculed, or how we might fail, or how we might feel uncomfortable. None of these events is directly life threatening. Such events help us grow as human beings. Get over your psychological fears, avoid these pitfalls on your journey to success, happiness and growth.

Don’t forget to get Rahul’s free eBook 8 Pillars Of Lasting Happiness

“Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

‘Wait’, is an uncomfortable word for most of us. We are conditioned by the fast paced modern world to expect quick results, swift decisions, and fast resolutions and so on….

Actually, there is nothing wrong in this. After all, computers were invented to do quickly what humans were not able to do. Cars were invented to run faster and make life easier. Airplanes were invented to fly at unimaginable pace to take you from one part of the world to another.

With the beautiful examples of above, let me come to the essence of this article.

Most of us feel and believe that everything should happen quickly. We strive to make sure that things happen fast and any delay is intolerable. Proactivity is taught everywhere in schools and colleges to combat waiting period. We are told not to wait. We are told to hurry. We are conditioned to be aggressive.

However, sometimes we don’t see the progress for our efforts and become depressed. We feel disheartened about the result of something. We fill ourselves with negative thoughts and start losing hope.

Why?

Because, we lack an amazing principle, a game changing truth that most of us overlook, hate and feel uncomfortable.

Patience.

Have you tried doing any of the below?

Did you ever tried to make a tree grow overnight?

Did you make rain to fall bit faster just because you like to see things faster?

Did you ever tried to breathe faster just because you like speed?

You did not. Nature has its own speed. It knows its rhythm. We never can speed up some things. And we should not. Some things happen in life on their own pace.

Making things happen is absolutely brilliant, but not all aspects life can be measured by the speed of your progress. Some are measured by quality of your progress and the direction of your journey.

To accomplish something tangible, concrete and satisfying, you need to have patience. Patience is a virtue. Indeed. Do your part, and have patience and faith. Things will progress. Don’t hurry by underestimating the background process which is running for you. You can’t see everything. You need not know everything. You will get what you want if you have patience and faith. I repeat again.

Just do your part, perform your role, contribute your efforts and wait.

Don’t panic. Don’t lose heart. Don’t curse yourself or anyone. Things will come your way because you have patience, faith and you are solid at heart.

Remember, life is connecting the dots and patience connects them. Don’t try to skip a dot. Every dot is beautiful. Waiting is one of such dots. While you wait, enjoy the silence, enjoy the lull. Anticipate the good and be ready for the outcome.

Next time, when you are stuck in uncertain situation or a confusing state of mind, just ask yourself. Have I done my part satisfactory?

If yes, then just wait.

“Ideas can be life changing. Sometimes all you need to open the door is just one more good idea” – Jim Rohn.

Life is beautiful and actually most of the life’s challenges are simple. It’s we, who make them appear complicated by misunderstanding missing to see their details. If we pay attention to their details, we will discover that these challenges are actually simple and life can be easier. Life has so many wonderful things to offer us. It has success, fame and much more. It has hidden treasures. Life is beautiful. It’s just that we need to observe life’s details and discover the hidden treasures.

Unfortunately, most of the people don’t try to discover life. They just sail along with the life. They instead, create a layer of self limitation around them and try adjusting themselves to the situation.

They chase happiness but fail to recognize it when it is already in front of them. They live life in fear and their life lacks the most important ingredient of life, self satisfaction.

How can you discover the hidden treasure that life has to offer you then?
How can you be more productive at work?
How can you become rich?
How can you stay rich?
How can you accomplish more and live a content life?
How can you live a wonderful life?

Is there an answer for these questions? If so what is it then?

Answer for above questions lies in an idea. A winning idea is all it takes to unlock the hidden treasure that life has inside it. Once you unlock, magic begins and all treasure is yours. A winning idea can help us to realize our true potential. In fact just a bunch of powerful ideas can change our life.

What is an idea basically? How do we define and bring it into our life?

An idea can be a completely new concept for doing things or a new method of enhancing existing process. It can also be just a thought which acts as catalyst for other ideas. An idea can hit your mind in just a flash or it could be residing in your mind since decades. Your success or failure depends upon whether you implement that idea or not.

I have such 23 ideas written and organized into an eBook and explained the ideas chapter by chapter. eBook is short, yet easy on the eye with minimum graphics and printer friendly.

This book is all about couple of winning ideas. I tried to share few ideas which you can use,implement and experiment in your daily life and benefit. Most of the ideas are simple, achievable and amazing. Some ideas are innovative and some offer new way of doing existing things. In a nutshell, this book is all about achieving success and living a content life.

Below are the ideas that are discussed and explained in detail by chapter by chapter in the book.

1. Eliminate fear from your life

2.Discover your true passion: Let your passion enrich your life

3.Discover the potential of your talent and make your living life out of it

4.Have enthusiasm for learning new things

5.Learn effective communication

6.Create a habit of waking up early

7.Develop a habit of reading great books

8.Work when you are work

9.Relax

10.Don’t work for money

11.Meet and learn from people who run business of any form

12.Avoid getting trapped in debt

13.Honesty pays

14.Life is fast, its a myth. Take time to enjoy every moment of life

15.Remove stress from your life

16.Better late than never

17.Health is wealth

18.Visit museums and understand history

19.Donate

20.Experience happiness by creating something of your own

21.Develop a hobby and nurture it

22.Offer free service

23.Focus on 3 things: Learning, health and family

To get the eBook for free, you just need to provide your email address below and you will get the eBook sent to your email.

focus ebook by Leo Babauta

Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?” – Marcus Aurelius

Dear readers,
After writing about my experiences and reviews of two life changing books You can Win and Rich Dad Poor Dad, I am here to share details about another amazing personal development ebook called as Focus by minimalist guru Leo Babauta.

I read the complete book on my kindle, which allowed me to read the book at one go and note down points as much as I can.

Leo Babauta has been a wonderful motivator to the world with his tips for enhanced productivity and bringing simplicity to life.

Focus by Leo Babauta, discusses a very important tool for achieving anything tangible, focus. Book’s caption says  ‘ A simplicity manifesto in the age of distraction’.

So much true. Isn’t it the distraction, is the silent killer of productivity in modern world? There is so much noise around us in the form of television, news, online messages, mobile calls and so on.

Leo in his eBook focus, addresses the right issue with simple and amazing way. Be it clearing distractions or focusing on the essentials or on how working on one task at a time increases your productivity. Each chapter has to offer you valuable inputs for improving your life.

With this short introduction, I suggest you to grab this eBook (look at the end for the download link) right away.

Focus, the eBook by Leo Babauta has following amazing chapters.

Section i. step back
1: introduction
2: the age of distraction
3: the importance of finding focus
4: the beauty of disconnection
5: focus rituals

Section ii. clear distractions
1: limiting the stream
2: you don’t need to respond
3: let go of the need to stay updated
4: how not to live in your inbox
5: the value of distraction
6: why letting go can be difficult
7: tools for beating distraction

Section iii. Simplify
1: creating an uncluttered environment
2: slowing down
3: going with the flow
4: effortless action
5: three strategies for prioritizing tasks
6: letting go of goals
7: finding simplicity

Section iv. Focus
1: a simple system for getting amazing things done
2: single-tasking and productivity
3: the power of a smaller work focus
4: focused reading and research
5: walking, disconnection & focus

Section v. others
1: finding focus, for parents
2: the problem of others
3: managers transforming office culture

Download the Book here.